At the Meeting of Males Anonymous

“Hi.

“My name is Al, and I’m a male.

“I didn’t choose to be male; I was born that way.

“Actually, when I was a boy, it was considered acceptable – and maybe even desirable – to be male. So I struggled to achieve manly virtues such as courage and strength.

"I can’t honestly say that I had a lot of success in my struggle.

“But then – just when I thought I was finally making some progress and maybe becoming a man – everything changed. The feminist revolution came along and, suddenly, a man was the worst thing you could be.

“Men were redefined as irresponsible, immature, drunken, self-centered, wife-beating louts. A man who had slaved for decades at a miserable job, in order to support a wife and children at home, was redefined as an oppressor who had selfishly kept his wife from finding true fulfillment as a certified public accountant.

“Indeed, the very concept of maleness became so unacceptable that words even suggesting maleness were banished from polite conversation: ‘I have a younger sibling named Mark.’ ‘Ruth, are you bringing your spouse to the party.‘ ‘The Vikings have some big people on their defensive line.’

“Now don’t get me wrong. I welcome women’s liberation. The world has benefitted enormously from the unleashing of women’s brains and talents. And the lives of millions of women – and men – are richer for it.

“What I don’t welcome is the demonizing of men that seems to have been a byproduct of the women’s movement.

“You know, before women’s liberation, the roles of men and women were as they were for complex economic, sociological, and biological reasons. And these societal roles had advantages and disadvantages for both men and women.

“Likewise, the roles of men and women have evolved in recent decades for complex economic, sociological and pharmaceutical reasons. It’s just not as simple as some would have you believe – that women suddenly discovered the power of sisterhood and rose up to overthrow their evil oppressors – who must now be treated with scorn or linguistically written out of existence.

“Now I know some people would say, ‘Come on, Al. Stop your whining. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you.’

“But that’s just the point. These days, it’s a sure laugh-getter in a TV sitcom or standup comedy routine to portray men as insensitive boors. But the truth is that men do have feelings – very strong feelings, in fact. (Just look, for example, at all the fine art that has flowed from the sensitive souls of men and enriched our world over the centuries.) So being continually demeaned or excised from the language – hurts.

“But more than hurting men’s feelings, the continual disparagement of men is also hurting society. Because, as boys and men internalize all the negative male stereotypes that they see and hear, they are more and more acting out the negative traits assigned to them.

“We see the consequences in education, for example:

“Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to flunk out or drop out of school ...

“Women make up 70% of high school valedictorians …

“Women outnumber men in higher education, earning 56 percent of bachelor's degrees and 55 percent of graduate degrees.

“We also see the problem in the decline of the family:

“You know, a popular saying in feminist movement was that ‘a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.’ Men are unnecessary! Who needs ‘em? Sitting in an easy chair … drinking beer … hogging the remote … contributing nothing …

“Well, the men-aren't-necessary crowd got its way and, over the past few decades, millions of men have bicycled away from their women and children.

“In 1960, 6% of all children were raised in single-parent homes; today, the number is about 26%.

“And how’s it going in this brave new world of single-parent homes? Well, not so well. Studies show that …

“…at age 33, men from single-parent homes are twice as likely to be unemployed …

“…males from two-parent homes average about 1.5 years more education than those from single parent homes …

“…and, all other things being equal, young men from homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those from two-parent families.

“But let me close with what I think is the most telling statistic of all...

"In 1933, the young male suicide rate was 1.54 times higher than that for young females. In 2005, the rate was 4.63 times higher. Which tells me that we’ve done a really good job of teaching males to loathe themselves.

“And that’s why I’m here tonight at Males Anonymous. Because I want to feel good again about being male. Because I want to be able to say words like “father” and “son” and “man” and “boy.” Because I want to celebrate the achievements of great males in history - like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Dr. Jonas Salk, and Sir Isaac Newton, and William Shakespeare. Because I want affirmation that it’s OK to be male, and that we’re not really as terrible as everyone says we are.

“Are we?”